And my opinion is?

Hello peeps

very deadly question with me "Becky what is your opinion?" the people that know me real well knows thats not a question you want me to answer unless you truly want me to answer that. So, if they dont want my opinion then they dont ask. They dont even hint for that opinion. and always do i stay quiet until someone falls for it .. they truly find out how i really think and they look at me with that "wow" look. Or they get offended lol.. thats when I laugh at them and tell them if you didnt want to know then dont fucking ask.

Well today I am asking myself for my own opinion on whats going with me.  If you dont want to know.. then dont read. Yes, yes, i got drama fucks (mIkes mother,Janova, and Jen) Wooo think i would forget my drama fucks? Nope ... so if you get offended you drama fucks DONT READ! and if you dare to use this against Mike I will take action (because you are putting me in your all lives when i stated clearly I am out of it). I have every right to express how I feel. Just i cant act on it unless i am willing to to go to jail.today I just wish not to go to jail or have Mike loose his chance with his children (yes Jen I know you will be pathetic and try to use this against him.) So, I will take this a bit further to insure mike will not be harmed. I will be n.... n.... fuck I cant say that word with out a very nasty taste in my mouth, and feeling the cover of fake trying to choke me. It starts with an N and ends with an e .. figure it out. Oh yeah this is not causing drama. remind yourselves YOU ARE ON MY BLOG and it states numerous times ... dont read if you get easily offended. these are my rants these are my thoughts. NO ONE can say nothing to me to make it "right." THIS IS MY FORM OF RELEASING WHATS ON MY FUCKING MIND! so I can have a healthier life with Mike.

So, with that, lets get on with it. Since i been in Denver I been with Mike.. Mike was a hot mess in emotions trust and so forth do to his past. also he was in the middle of an divorce. I know how hard that is especially when it involves children. I watched Mike helped him unconditionally gave him the love he needed and picked up his shattered heart and pieced it together with his help. The only thing I wanted from him.. His love. He FREELY gave it too me. Mike is and will always be my soul mate and my best friend. We are very close. Like we can look at each other and say nothing and nod our heads or laugh at something that we both though together... or one is silent other other just answers a silent question .. this how close we are. But I always tell him I am not paid enough to read minds lol ... we joke we laugh we ague we are all over each other but the bottom line is we love each other. He 100% trusts me and I him. I will do almost anything for this man. I have watched him shatter in font of me due to his ex thinking she had control of him and telling him he cant talk the his children. I saw it and I was PISSED.. I walked him threw it carefully and healed him. Saying nothing to him just went threw hell with him. (my snarky thought on that, I was due on rent in hell needed to pay it.. so might as well go down with Mike and say hello) Mike can even take me out and his friends like me! We go out and ENJOY everything. All of his old friends (while he was married to Jen) even said I was way better I mean like 100 times better then her. All I said was "if you have nothing nice to say, mutter it under your breath while walking away." Never is Jen ever mentioned while Mike takes me out (bi weekly) we actually look and act like we been married for years..

Oct 3rd 2013 Mike and I are in our new place (with an amazing roommate and her dog) We gotten the best present in our lives. He was FINALLY legally divorced. Both of us partied like it was 1999 (not one illegal drug was smoked,shot up, or snorted we where drunk fun people in our own home!). It was finally over. his worse fear was loosing all contact with his children. he was so pissed she even thought of doing such evilness and when he read that he has HALF of the responsibilities with his children HE CRIED he knew that he now can be fully happy again. I can only make him happy so far. But his blood children can take him the rest of they way. Though, knowing how this going to go. He has that hidden fear she will do that shit again. He is trying so hard to comply with the court order with out just loosing it.. He leans on me and I un dieing give him what he needs. Loyal me to a fault.

Because the trip to hell was not a good trip for me. Stress has boiled to the top and is threatening to biol over. Mike finally gotten a hold of Jen and with MIke's word for word He asked me to type her a email. MIND YOU this is was what Mike wanted. Thus he couldn't word it they way it needed. Mike gets home the next day and she STARTED in on him with her manipulation and knows he didnt type it and this how its going to go and your opinion, wants, and your life, don't matter. and his email was threatening. she told him take it or you dont see or talk to your children. (this is how i read it) from the GET GO she started in on her shit. and the get go Mike complied to it because of the fear .... she played him. He accepted.

I am not in this.. unless it affect my relationship with Mike. I sat here for now two days crying because i will not put myself in this. I MUST detach from it. there is no maybe its happening.. black and white... Mike will handle this on his own I cant protect him.. I will not hear it either. Unless Mike goes back to the broken self and i know its harming him and them children. Thats when I will step in. He needs to deal with it. I am not going to repeat the last 6 month of hell. I cant mentally put up with it. I have given Mike a gift most women think they have when married to men... his balls.. his thoughts his way of life. He knows whats needs to happen.. I TRUST him to do the right thing and not play further the game and dont allow the fear to come between him and his children. He knows now that if he cant see or talk to his children he knows exactly what needs to be done. He made it clear to her and who ever likes to stick there noses in this.. that he is there for his children and if you fuck with that the state will deal with them. this is including Jen. All he wants is to see hear and talk to his children.. nothing more.

Mike agreed that every single email everything that happens with Jen and them children will be documented. This is the only way to make sure the court order is law... I will not step in .. If i have the phone and she calls. She is in the phone now (again) I will not answer it. If she starts her shit with mike I am not going to sit there and bash her... remind yourself this is all documented. and I just waiting for that day. Believe or not I dont read Mikes emails nor his FB unless he posts something.. His life is that HIS until I have to step in I wont. and ITS KILLS ME I am just going to shut down I know me.. and it will be hard on Mike because I am done and I am not going go threw the stress again .. and that part of me will be cold heartless and Mike is not going to like it it.. But i have too to keep it level. 

So with that, be good to yourselves