Why?

I am asking seriously why? do you understand I am the person I am simply is because I want to be.. No one on this earth is going to change that. I lived that life where I was poor needed to support my parents until I was 29 (yes I supported MY parents with a place to stay, food, emotional and so forth) in my years before i turned 18 I was already adult I did my drugs, I even sold it (never did I sell myself .. seriously ewwww) and I did that shit while I was teen. You seriously think for one moment I just woke up one day to be who I am today?... I drank people under the table on a daily bases .. I did real bad things in my past to make sure my parents where lavished with what they wanted and my brother and i barely can eat? So why do you want me to change? People like you make me fucking sick.. If you want me to change.. then look deep inside yourself seriously and ask yourself.. You that fucking Jealous of me that you have to tell me of all people to change? You think for one moment i am going to do what you ask me too? Let me educate you .. I am 35 years old .. I live my life the way I WANT IT not my problem you have a issue about my life. keep it yourself or just dont talk to me. I smoke cigs so you can breath anther breath.. I dont like my gender because of people like you.. I tell you what .. if i did give two gay rats asses about what you thought I would be retarded like you and fat as hell with no life. Trust me ... I am skinny as fuck a great BF and a life i could only dream of when I was not with him.. My attitude is simply because of people like you....

So, why did you ask me to stop smoking? do you understand I DID drugs like Cocaine, shrooms, acid. LCD, Exacy? did you know I used to drink Hard Liquar like it was water by the time i turned 13? do you realize I made 3 grand a day by the time I was 12? just selling drugs? Do realize that by time I was 10 years old I was paying my fathers bills and keeping a roof over my brother and I head? Oh yeah did I tell you I was still going to school? Making straight As. do you realize before i hit 15 years of age I was smoking fucking weed to deal with not only my drunk ass father but my psycho ass mother that hated me because I was simply a female and I was not longer useful due she took everything my father had? do you realize why I cant stand my gender??? do you realize you are breathing because I have one simple addiction Cigs... dont go there bitch.. Not really in the mood.. 18 years I been clean from drugs.. My Psychologist RECOMMENDED me to keep smoking due to ITS LEGAL this was all before i turned 18 .. she told me she fears the day I quit smoking cigs. I will die a smoker... I have a loving soon to be husband that regulates my drinking and he is proud of me that I haven't killed him yet.

I have a very violent temper ... I am very blunt and I very direct.. dont like it.. simple as this... shut it. Live your fake life the way you want it ... DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE! You have not a clue what i went threw and why I am the way I am.

Do you simply understand there a very few people know I am not a hard ass bitch? them few people know I will brake myself, kill my fucking self, to make sure they are ok... do you understand you will never be in this circle of elite family.. do I care you are blood.. That means we are unforgettably related .. not family. remind yourself that.. when you take that breath you so take for granted. Makes me remind myself why people like you need to just rot in hell. Be good to yourself